MID-DAY REFLECTIONS

 August 24, 2020                                                                                                                                           11:35AM

It's mid-day. I am currently in a meeting, listening with people's reflections and messages. Three points to remember:

PATIENCE                                                                                                                                               Have you been patient with God? Were your prayers already answered? Never lose hope. Be persistent always.

ENCOUNTER                                                                                                                                                   Have you been present with all those encounters with Him? Savor the moment. The Lord is telling you something. Don't miss it. Be present. 

EXCITEMENT                                                                                                                                            Are you happy right now? Have you been joyful the past weeks or days? What will make you happy You deserve happiness. The Lord wants you to experience the joy that is eternal. And you can only experience it when you find where your heart truly belongs - and that is to God. 

Wait for the Lord. Be patient. Savor every encounter along the journey. And when you reach your final destination, you'll find the true joy that your heart longs for.

Hindi Mabait Ang Mundo

In this 40-day LENT journey, the Lord has been personal with all His messages for me, what He wants for me to go through and how it can help me become a better person (so help me, God hehe). So now sharing one of my breakthrough stories I couldn't forget.

Eight years ago, I was arguing with a friend about how he sees life, about he sees the world. I was firmed that time that everyone was nice, gentle and (hmmmm) somehow kind. But he was insisting that "NO, JAJET! HINDI MABAIT ANG MUNDO!" I couldn't believe that he was telling that to me as I continuously insisted that everyone was good. People are good!!!

Eight years later, I am still pondering about it while considering what I've experienced the past months. I think, maybe he was right all along. Hindi nga naman mabait ang mundo! Magulo. Madilim. Nakakadismaya. Nakakatakot. Minsan mahirap intidihin. Madalas nakakasakit.

Is this really the world I am living right now? Where are the peace and serenity I've used to have? Is this the real world? Or was I just living in my dream and fantasy that time? So I keep asking the Lord.

But yes, personal as He is, He answered me, 

"Kahit hindi mabait ang mundo (maybe because of evil, greed, entitlement, personal desires), YOU CAN ALWAYS MAKE IT A BETTER PLACE!"

We cannot recognize what is good and right if there is no evil. Start within ourselves. Let's choose to be kind so we can open our eyes with gratitude and wonder at the magnificent world we live in!

Everyday I Choose

As I write this blog at the middle of the night, I guess this will be the bravest blog I'll share so far. And as you read this, you're now entering my life. This is not just a piece of me, but my whole being maybe.

Let me start with this, remember if God brought you to it, He will bring you through it.

A year and three months have passed since I was diagnosed with Anxiety and Depression. It is a roller coaster ride of emotions. Sometimes I'm happy, but most of the times I'm lonely. It has been difficult for me dealing with myself and in what I'm going through. Insomnia is real. Getting up from bed is most of the times difficult. Tears from unidentified reasons will just flow. Panic attacks are present. Indecisiveness dominantly manifests. But despite all of these, I find myself fighting, I find myself hoping that one day everything shall pass.

Still I am thankful to the Lord for allowing me to journey this. Yes, it is challenging, but this is the path that He wants me to take. Like what I prayed when I first knew this, "Lord, if this is Your way for me to be closer to You, and so be it." 

So as I continue journeying my illness, God has allowed me to grow and taught me a lot that led me to these realizations.

I cannot do it alone. Never. One thing that I've learned in this journey is that I cannot deal this illness alone. I remember going to the hospital and see a psychiatrist all by myself because I thought I was already brave enough to face all of these. The akala-ko-matapag-ako moment.. But unfortunately, I wasn't ready. It was hard that time accepting the doctor's diagnosis. I didn't know what to do, where to go next and whom to share with the things that I was going through. It was late afternoon after my check-up, I went back to the office and kept myself busy from work so I wouldn't think of it. But it was not easy. Acceptance was a challenge back then. I told myself that I would be okay, the people around me don't have to know about it. But little by little, my self-pride vanished away. I need my family. I need my friends. I need God. By His grace, there were people who helped me and journeyed with me even to the extent of going with me to my check-ups, talking with my parents and reminding me to take my medicines. I was reminded that the battle I am fighting is not just my own battle, but also the battle of those people who continues to hope for me. And this keeps me going!

I have to open up myself more. I have to let people love me and take good care of me. Yes, it is hard for me to make myself vulnerable in the eyes of others, but I need to be open to them. I wanted to be brave, but bravery entails openness. I thought keeping my situation will make me feel better because I don't want them feel that I am a burden, but it humbles me. I learned that if I want to be healed, I need to open up myself more. I have to open what I'm going through, what triggers me, what's going on my mind every now and then, and even what help do I need for me to be better. Honestly, I am not used to it. I grew up giving myself and every simple thing that I can to people, so it was hard for me to receive and accept love. But this circumstance changes me. Little by little, I am now  accepting the fact that I need my loved one's presence - that all the love that they have showed me since day zero plays a big part on how I'm coping up with this. My existence right now is because of the love and support of those people who witnessed me at my weakest but never left me, who still accepted me for who I am, and for those who fight with me. (Yes, you know who you are! Know that I'll forever praise and thank the Lord! I do believe that His love never runs out through each one of you.)

I need God. Most of all, it is Him I needed most. Some people say that depressed people just lack of spiritual life. Big no! If you just know how hard I try everyday to cling on to God and bring myself closer to Him during tough times. I know that in His loving arms I'm at my safest. There were days and nights that I'll just find myself crying because I cannot control myself - I cannot control my emotions, my mind. And during those episodes, I'll simply go to a private room, isolate myself from the crowd, and ask for God's grace. Actually not only ask, but really beg for His grace, for His healing, for His comfort because I know to myself that I need Him. My favorite line goes like this, "Lord, alam Mo pong hindi ko na kaya. Tulungan Mo po ako. Maawa na po Kayo." I used to utter this prayer because it calms my mind and comforts my soul. It has been my favorite prayer since then. And as I journey this, one thing that also keeps me going is whenever I take the Eucharist. It has been my daily spiritual maintenance medicine. It sustains me. I know, I know it is Him!

The battle is still here and I'm still fighting it. I have to take one step at a time or take urgent actions if already needed. I can't be in this situation forever. I know. I do believe that I have to take myself out of this. So by His grace, I make a commitment that...

Everyday I choose God.
Everyday I choose my life.
Everyday I choose to fight.
Everyday I choose to hope.
Everyday I choose to love.
Everyday I choose to get better.

PS.If you know people who are also suffering from depression, your presence will mean a lot. Find time to be with them. Take time to listen to them even more. Be more patient. Be more understanding. Be more kind.

PPS.If you're the one who's suffering from this, always know that you are not alone. Trust the process. Take one step at a time. Always remember that you are loved and there are people who believes in you.

Countdown to Greater Days

Two more days and our YFC Sector Conference will happen. There are mixed emotions. I am excited. I am anxious. I am happy. I am nervous. I cannot explain what I am feeling right now. But there is one thing that I am sure of - I am ready to witness God's great plans to unfold.

Many things can still happen along the preparations. Since this is God's, the evil is also at work. The tensions, the petty concerns, the unfinished deliverables that lead to frustrations might be there, but what God continues to remind me is that despite all of these, He will continue to reveal Himself more. 

Totally surrendering to His will is still sometimes hard. There are moments wherein I'll ask the Lord, "We dreamed of this together, di po ba? Dinasal ko naman po 'to ah." And so He answered, "Continue to trust Me. I know better than you, remember? I planned this since the beginning. Just participate with all my plans. I got this for you!" Yes! Here goes the friendly reminder of our all-knowing God that... He is God and I am not.

I believe that as this Sector Conference goes near, His every dream for me/for us will come true. 

2 more days. 2 more days.
Let's get it on, Lord! Greater days are about to come!

From A Still Unmarried Woman

Gaining a 17M on their first day of showing got me more interested on the movie, "Unmarried Wife". When I finally watched it, my heart was disturbed. The movie was good, and the actors and actresses gave justice to their roles. What made me disturbed were the situations, circumstances, marriage issues, family problems and the sins from the past. I know all of these are present in this real world that's why I became so worried. The story was painful - that you will not choose to be on their shoes. Or if it happens too, you will just choose to have a strong "you".

----

For all married couples out there, please please love your family like how God loves you. Value your marriage. "For better and for worse" is true. You see each other at your best, but still be with each other at worst. Those are the times that you need to be strong for one another. Communicate. Talk with each other. Give time. Time is the best expression of love that you can give to your spouse and family. Forgive. Forgive even it is hard to forgive. Choose to see the goodness of your spouse every single day. And lastly choose to become the best spouse and parents that your family could have because God has entrusted you to be one. 

With all love and concern,
a-still-unmarried-woman-who-values-family-relationships

---

Now it made me realize that I should pray more for families. Our families mold us of who we are today, and we don't want that families will be the reason for us to choose the wrong decisions and directions. Our families are the best gift gift that God has blessed us with. So let's continue to love and value them.



End.

TRUE NORTH

What a CHRIST BOUND experience!

Traveling North from San Carlos City, Pangasinan to Dagupan City to San Fernandano City, La Union to San Juan, La Union to Laoag City to Bacarra, Ilocos Norte to Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte made my body so exhausting, but my heart wanted more. It was longing for the destination.

The journey of life is not easy even a life of a 25-year old missionary like me. It is not a bed of roses. There is no exceptions from the challenges of the world. So my Christ Bound experience reminded me of these.

PAGUDPUD. Pagudpud, Ilocos Norte is the venue of the conference. If you simplify the word, Pagudpud, it will be "pagud" or "pagod". Pagod means tired. Are we tired with our lives? Are we tired of our works? of our family responsibilities? of our relationships? of ourselves? Pagod na ako.

If we're tired and weary, let us go back to God who is the Source of Comfort. He understands us, He knows what we are going through. Just like our fathers here on earth, He will comfort us, embrace us because He loves us. He cares for us.

PRAY. LISTEN. GO.  Ready. Get Set. Go. We cannot just go on our lives with the go signals that we thought are the right signs. Most of the times, we are too much self-focused, career oriented. We are too passionate and we want to just go and go without asking the Lord, "What do you want for my life?" We, most of the times, forget to ask Him, ask His guidance. Akala natin, alam na natin lahat. Akala natin, 'yun na ang tama. But where is the Lord on our journey? Isinama ba natin?

It's about time to ask the Lord's guidance where He wants to lead us. Listen to Him more. Listen to His loud voice. Know that His plans are always greater than ours. And once we allow Him to control our lives, we'll never lose our life's direction.

STOP. The road sign STOP  tell us to stop because we are already heading a wrong destination, or stop because we are too fast and we forget the value of the journey itself. 

Take U-TURN if we lose the sight of direction. Whenever we take a sinful path, let's go back. Ask the Lord's forgiveness and reconcile with Him. He is just waiting.

Traveling North was never easy, but it was the journey that was life-filled. It was full of life's lessons and God's graces.

Truly going to the NORTH direction means going up, going to the True Source of Life who is Jesus Christ.

CHRIST BOUND.

 

When Insecurities Bid Goodbye

If people will ask me what my 2016 goal is? I will surely answer that I want to revive this blog site. I WANT TO BECOME A BLOGGER (specifically a Fashion Blogger) like my favorites in the name of Patty Laurel-Filart, Paula Peralejo-Fernandez, Kim Jones-Rosales, Laureen Uy, Daniella Baretto, Ally Laude and Nicole Anderson.

Reading their blogs, following them in instagram make me feel that I want to be like them --- so expressive, carefree and naturally beautiful. But.... the media already sets the standard of being beautiful. One should be good looking with white skin, beautiful body and alike. And unfortunately, I am none of those. *sighs*

I remember during an interview, someone asked me: "Do you have insecurities?"

"I had", I answered. It was not easy for me before living in my own insecurities, battling with my own self and pilit na pinaniniwalaan na maganda naman ako ah! With friends, I experienced being teased all the time that my skintone is similar with a negra. My esponghado hair (straight outside and curly inside) was not really pleasing to their eyes. They would even make fun of me because of my body figure. And Yes, I was hurt. I even started to hate myself.

But as time goes by... Praise God! Growing maturely, I come to realize that any physical appearance is nothing compared to the goodness of what's within heart.

"....The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." 

-1 Samuel 16:7

I am also reminded that I am wonderfully made by God. Everything may fade, but one thing will forever remain that I will always be a God's favored princess.

"I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, and my soul knows it very well."

-Psalm 139:14

So I think this would be the right time for me to share to the world how God refines me to be beautiful inside and out.

my #OOTD collection of 2015

Thanks to our Miss Universe 2015, Pia Wurtzbach... Truly, every woman should be confidently beautiful with a heart.

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To all ladies/women who are still suffering from their insecurities: Cheer up! Once your beauty comes from within, everything will follow. Remember you are perfectly beautiful in your own ways! Confidently beautiful with a heart...

Okay now, join me in singing:

"Don't hate me coz I'm beautiful!"

- Pretty Girl Rock, Keri Hilson

"I am beautiful no matter what they say."

- Beautiful, Christina Aguilera

"I'm no beauty queen. I'm just beautiful me." 

- Who Says, Selena Gomez

"Oh, oh, you don't know you're beautiful." 

- What Makes You Beautiful, One Direction

"Coz you're amazing just the way you are!" 

- Just the Way You Are, Bruno Mars

"I want you and your beautiful soul." 

- Beautiful Soul, Jesse McCartney

"You're beautiful. You're beautiful. It's true."

- You're Beautiful, James Blunt

Enjoy the wonders of life! :)

----

The Mystique Meteora

 To explore is to discover. To discover is to learn. To learn is to live.

Tagaytay is known for its cold breeze of air plus its tourist attractions. It is a nice place to go with family or even hangout with friends. If you feel like soul searching and looking for a sanctuary, Tagaytay will be one of the best places to go!

It was on October, 2015 when my second family in Pangasinan brought me again to Tagaytay. Though it has become a usual place for me, my heart still got excited because I know that this would be a different road trip.

We left Pangasinan by two o'clock in the morning. Praise God for TPLEX and NLEX! We arrived in Quezon City five hours after... and since National Capital Region is known for its rush-hour traffic, we reached Tagaytay around ten thirty.

Okay! This was it! I could feel the breeze of fresh air and its cold weather. Finally, I was brought back to one of my comfort places! Yehey! :))

And here it goes: We will be staying in METEORA for a day!

"Meteora is one of the more noteworthy houses in Tagaytay City, recently been rented as a private bed and breakfast. It is a two-bedroom house with multiple view decks."

I've never been there before. I just saw it from different travel blogs. And the reviews were really good. So now it's my time to see it with my naked eye. Chos!

Sorry for not taking good shots. Promise, I'll do better next time! :))) And I will definitely be back in this place! Sama ka? :D

--------------------

METEORA Tagaytay

Ligaya Drive (Talisay Road), Sungay East, Tagaytay City, Philippines

www.meteoratagaytay.com

To More Days Like This

I thought this day would just be a typical Sunday hit, but hey it was a no-no! Waking up early for the YFC ICON meeting, dressing up and grabbing a cab from Berkeley Residences, Katipunan to Max's Restaurant, Kapitolyo.. Okay! I'm Sunday ready! :))

I hate being late so arrived in our meeting place thirty minutes before the call time. (I think I just have a phobia of being late. :) Making punctuality as a habit, it is!)

Max's Restaurant, Kapitolyo, Pasig City
(photo grabbed from the internet)

 It was indeed a fruitful meeting with our CFC Bohol counterparts plus the sumptuous lunch served to us. (You should try Max's Sisig Tofu and Caramel Bar! For the win!)

After the meeting, Ate Lucky, Ate Nikki, Maolen, Ate Shayne and I headed to SM Megamall Chapel to attend the Holy Mass. It was my first time there, and it was truly a personal experience for me.

Chapel of the Eucharistic Lord, SM Megamall
(photo grabbed from the internet)

Right after the mass, Ate Shayne and I had a schedule of our one-on-one's, so we decided to look for a comfy instagram-worthy place where we can talk, relax and take good photos...but unfortunately, we found none. Hello to our aching-feet and medyo dugyot na kaiikot! But hey, it was fun strolling in the mall, looking at some boutiques and hipster stores.

inside SM Megamall
*my childhood mall -- ES EM E-E-MOL
(photo grabbed from the internet)

Since we didn't find any good cafe to stay to, we decided to take a cab and go to UP Town Center. This has been my comfort place for the past year since it is just a walking distance from my cousin's pad where I stay.

University of the Philippines Town Center by Ayala Malls
Katipunan Avenue, Diliman, Quezon City
(photo grabbed from the internet)

While we were still in the cab, we were already searching of something new to try there. Our first choice and happened to be our first stop: CHURRERIA LA LOLA!

Churreria La Lola
Ground Floor, UPTC Katipunan Avenue, Diliman Quezon City
(photo grabbed from the internet)

 Oh yes! There was a long line of people craving also for these churros from Spain. We just ordered a medium classic churros (6pcs) with a chocolate dip.

how these churros look like.. yummy!
(photo grabbed from the internet)

True! It was delicious! But we warn you: never ever order too much of it! One piece will be enough for you! Since we got six pieces of these churros, we felt so umay! So we need a salty food to take. Hello to our next stop: SILANTRO FIL-MEX!

Silantro Fil-Mex
2nd Floor, UPTC, Katipunan Ave., Diliman, Quezon City
11AM-10PM
(photo grabbed from the internet)

This was not new to me because one of its branches is located in Dagupan City, Pangasinan. Like the La Lola's, there were also a lot of people waiting for their seats in this restaurant. Good thing that we only need a table for two. Their menu has a good number of options, but we decided to only take an order of their famous Beef Nachos.

Silantro's Beef Nachos, Php180 (good for 3-4)
(photo grabbed from the internet)

Finally! We found a good place to sit and had our random conversations. The day didn't end there. Don't judge us, please! We went to a cafe to have some tea and coffee as we wait for some missionary friends. Starbucks is already overrated, so we looked for a new one, and we found ST. MARC CAFE for our final stop!

St. Marc Cafe
Ground Floor, UPTC, Katipunan Avenue, Diliman, Quezon City
10AM-10PM
(photo grabbed from the internet)

I forgot the tea we took (just ask them their best seller hot tea), but I will never forget the one I ordered, the Bitter Mocha Frappuccino. Oops! Don't get me wrong! I was not feeling bitter that time. It was just a fun coffee name in the menu worth trying for!

IT WAS INDEED A FULLY-LOADED STOMACH DAY!

But what made it more memorable are the stories and conversations Ate Shayne and I had in between. It was a just a feel-good kamustahan and dream-filled convo.

I remembered her asking me how am I, what are my dreams and what makes me stay in the mission...

I simply answered her that I am doing good though the past holidays had made me think of my future plans in life. Starting to ask myself of what if's. What if I didn't choose the life of a missionary? Will I be like my fresh-graduate nephews and nieces managing their respective family businesses helping their parents and earning for their future? Will I be like my closest friends who lives independently and gets everything they want? Oh no! Not again...

"We shouldn't compare our lives from them, because it was totally different!"

-Ate Shayne

It really hit me. Yes, true enough. As I was reflecting, I can't imagine my life not in this mission. I will not experience the greatness of the Lord in me that in all my emptiness, He never failed to fill me, And He doesn't fill me with just a little, His graces always overflow. I know I am where I am destined to be! I may doubt sometimes, but I believe that God is constantly and consistently pursuing me, holding me and reassuring me that He is with me. I know my future is secure as long as I am His' and He is mine.

I am claiming that this year will be a greater year for me! Cheers to more riches in heaven... to restored and new relationships... to open doors and new opportunities... to better selves and holier ones!

To Ate Crystha Shayne: Thank you for being a sister I never had and a friend I never thought I could share my totoong maarte self without any judgment. :)) I will forever treasure this day!

CHEERS TO MORE DAYS LIKE THIS!

CHEERS TO MORE FOOD FOR OUR HEARTS AND SOULS!

When I Need Him Most

     I grew up not used of asking for God's help (Don't get me wrong.).  All I do is to patiently wait for Him to help me.  If He wants to help me, then thank You, but if not, still thank You!  It doesn't matter to me anyway.  I only believe that He will just do His part, and the rest of the battle is mine alone.

     But early this year, I am learning to acknowledge that I need Him.  I need Him fully!  Not just a part of Him, but everything of Him.  I have experienced a lot of frustrations and disappointments, but it is only to Him where I ran to.  This is when I also acknowledge that I CANNOT do things on my own --- I will need Him..I will always need Him.  And it takes a lot of courage from me!

     Now, I am learning to ask.  I am learning to beg.  I am learning to surrender.  I am learning to trust Him fully that the battle is always His' and He's gonna win it for me!

Last Words To Live By

Last April 17, I was given an opportunity to share one of Jesus' Last Words. At first I was so hesitant to do it since I do not know what to say plus it was my mom who said yes to the organizers. She just told me that they were asking me to be part of it together with other young professionals in our parish. "I'm not a professional!", I told my mom. "Just obey, okay?", she said. (Oh stage freight, here we go again! I cannot do this!) Through prayers, I was convinced to do it. (As if I have a choice then! Haha!) Well it was also a good opportunity for me to go back to my parish again after some years, and share with them my stories.

Days passed... And as Good Friday comes near, I was so nervous. All I have was my draft! I tried to call my Kuyas and Ates who can help me pray and discern more on what to share but still nothing came out from my mind. I knew at that point of time, the Lord wants to tell me something, my heart wanted to burst out! The Lord knows I was the perfect person who can share this 4th word to everyone. 

After days of praying and reflecting, the Lord revealed to me His words. He simply allowed me to go back to my journey... and here's my short reflection sharing... 

“Diyos ko, Diyos ko, Bakit mo ako pinabayaan?”

Ito ang ikaapat na salitang binanggit ni Hesus habang Siya ay nasa krus.

Sa loob po ng dalawampu’t dalawang taon, ako po ay lumaki sa isang masaya at mapagmahal na pamilya. Marami po akong kaibigan, nabigyan po ako ng magandang edukasyon, nakapagtapos sa isang magandang paaralan, at mayroon pong masagana at mapayapang buhay. Indeed, I am truly blessed and favored by the Lord. At hindi po natatapos doon ang biyaya ng Diyos sa akin. Matapos ko po makuha ang degree ko sa kolehiyo, ako po ay tumugon sa tawag ng Panginoon na maging isang Katolikong Laykong Misyonaryo na nagpapalaganap ng pagmamahal at mabuting gawain ng Diyos lalo’t higit sa mga kabataan. Ang pagtugon ko po sa kagustuhan ng Panginoon ang isa sa pinakamahirap, ngunit pinakamasayang desisyong ginawa ko po sa aking buhay.

  Ang pagtugon din pong ito, at ang pag-oo sa gawain ng Panginoon ang nagdala din po sa akin sa misyon sa iba’t ibang lugar. Dito ko po unang naranasan na mapalayo sa aking pamilya, magbyahe ng malalayo, manirahan sa ibang lugar, mapagod at magkasakit, makisama sa mga tao na may iba’t ibang wika at dialekto at pagkasyahin ang pinansyal na meron lamang ako. Ilan lamang ito sa mga nararanasan ko. Sa misyon inalis ng Panginoon lahat ng comforts ko. Inalis ‘Nya ako sa buhay na nakasanayan ko. Dito ko din naranasan na masaktan sa sinasabi ng mga tao, pagdudahan sa buhay na pinili ko at kalimutan kung sino ba talaga ako.
            

Mahirap, masakit, opo. Maraming tanong ang nabuo sa aking puso’t isipan kung bakit ko ba nararanasan lahat ng ‘to. Naging masunurin at faithful naman po ako sa Panginoon. Tumugon na naman po ako sa tawag ‘Nya at pinili ang buhay na ninanais ‘Nya para sa akin, pero bakit ganito? Bakit ako pa din ang nahihirapan at nasasaktan? Hindi na ba ako mahal ng Diyos para iparanas ang mga bagay na ‘to? Bakit ko kailangang kalimutan ang sarili ko? Sa misyon pa din po ba ninyo ako tinatawag? Paano ako makakatulong sa pamilya ko gayong wala naman akong malaking sweldo at panganay pa ako? Ano kaya ang kinabukasang naghihintay sa akin?            

Maraming tanong at pagdududa sa tawag ‘Nya ang nabuo sa akin. Ngunit sa kabila ng lahat ng ito ay nandito pa din ako sa misyon, nagsisilbi sa Kanya at patuloy na tumutugon sa tawag ‘Nya.

Tulad ni Hesus noong Siya ay nahihirapan at nakapako sa krus, tinawag ‘Nya ang Diyos Ama, “Diyos ko, Diyos ko, Bakit mo ako pinabayaan?” At sa pagninilay ko sa mga katagang ito, mayroon akong natutunan na apat na bagay,             Una, PAGKAKATAWANG-TAO. Ito po ang sumisimbolo sa pagkakatawang tao ni Hesus upang makasama natin ‘Sya dito sa lupa. Alam natin na ‘Sya ang bugtong na Anak ng Diyos, ngunit ipinadala ‘Sya dito upang makiisa sa ating mga pagpapakasakit at paghihirap.            

Pangalawa, PANALANGIN. Ang ginawa pong pagtawag ni Hesus sa kanyang Amang nasa langit ay hindi isang tawag o tanong ng pagdududa, ngunit ito ay isang panalangin na nagpapakita sa isang malapit na relasyon ni Hesus sa Diyos Ama. Ito din ang tawag ng isang anak sa kanyang magulang kapag siya ay nahihirapan.            

Pangatlo, PAG-ASA AT PAGTITIWALA. Noong tinawag ni Hesus ang Kanyang Ama, ito ay tawag na pag-asa at pagtitiwala na pinauubaya na ‘Nya ang kanyang sarili sa Diyos Ama. Alam ‘Nyang sa paghihirap ‘Nya ay tutulungan ‘Sya nito, kailangan lang ‘Nyang magtiwala na may magandang plano ang Diyos Ama para Sakanya.            

At pang-apat, PRESENSYA. Sa pagtawag ni Hesus sa Kanyang Ama noong Siya ay nasa krus, mararamdaman natin ang presensya ng Diyos Ama Sakanya. Sa kabila ng lahat ng pasakit ‘Nya ang Diyos Ama ang nagsilbi ‘Nyang lakas. Ang presensya ng Diyos ang nagpatatag Sakanya habang Siya ay nahihirapan. Presensya, pagmamahal, at pagliligtas ang ipinagkaloob sa kanya ng Ama.            

Nang tinalikuran ko ang buhay na mayroon ako noon, ipinaranas din sa akin ng Diyos ang hirap at sakripisyo, pero naniniwala ako na sa lahat ng pinagdadaanan ko ay kasama ko si Kristo. Mas lumalim ang relasyon ko sa Panginoon, mas natututo akong magdasal, humingi ng tulong sa Mahal na Ina sa pamamagitan ng pagrorosaryo, at makiisa sa Banal na Eukaristiya araw-araw. Ipinaalala sa aking ng Panginoon na mas magtiwala pa ako Sakanya na sa lahat ng ito ay may maganda pa Syang plano para sa buhay ko; na gagamitin pa ako ng Panginoon upang maisakatuparan ang ipinagkatiwala Nyang misyon sa akin. At sa kung ano pa man ang haharapin ko, naniniwala ako na kasama ko ang Diyos sa paglalakbay na ito, sapagkat alam ko na ang grasya ‘Nya ang magpapatatag at magpapalakas sa akin sa mga darating pang panahon.            

Ito din ang hamon sa atin ng kasalukuyan na matuto tayong tumawag sa Panginoon sa mga panahong mag-isa na lamang tayo. Lagi nating tatandaan na may Diyos Amang handang tumugon sa ating mga panalangin. Iniintay ‘Nya lamang tayong magbalik loob Sakanya tulad ng isang ama na naghihintay sa pinakamamahal Nyang anak.

          

  

     Do God really forsake me? No! He is always present. He is always there. When He is silent, I know He's up to something. Simply trust! When we TRUST Him, we ENTRUST everything to Him. And praise God for His constant love - the love that keeps me going everyday, the love that I hold on to. This is love. This is His work. This is grace.

Words Are Not Enough

The priest asked in his homily this afternoon, "Given the freedom to choose, sinong nanay ang pipiliin ninyo?" "Hindi ba yung pinaka-understanding, pinaka-loving at pinaka-compassionate?", he added. And I strongly agree!

I am a self-proclaimed Daddy's Girl because he spoils me, he supports me all the way and he gives me everything I need (and want)! :) Even my siblings, they will tell that they are Dad's favorites. :) But being away from home, I can't help but think about Mom, How is she kaya? Is she fine? Is she okay? Does she take her maintenance medicines everyday? Who takes good care of her whenever she's not feeling well or who accompanies her whenever Dad is in the office and my sibs are in school?

Whew! Mom, I know you are okay (I hope so), but allow me to write something for you.

When I heard those words from the priest, I told myself that that's exactly like Mom. Yes, she is understanding, she is compassionate and she is so loving. :))

Mommy, thank you for everything! Thank you for waking up every 4:30 in the morning everyday just to prepare us for school. Thank you for patiently waking us up kahit po hindi agad kami gumigising. Thank you for cooking our breakfast and baon for school. Thank you for preparing our school uniforms (from head to toe). Thank you for always assuring us that we will come to school on time. Thank you because whenever we leave something for school, you still patiently bring it. Whenever we need something, you are the first one who get so worried. Thank you for taking care of us, for patiently waking us up so that we can drink our medicines on time. Thank you for always being there in all our school programs, extra curricular activities and even in all our check-ups. Thank you for being our no. 1 tagapagtanggol. Thank you for being over protective for we learn to protect ourselves more. Thank you for loving Dad so much, for supporting him in all his decisions and encouraging him in life. Thank you for being the "clown" of the house, for all your corny jokes and endless stories. Thank you for always telling us if we look good or not. haha! Thank you for always reminding us to pray everyday and to love each other. Thank you for simply being a mother to us. Thank you for your selfless love!

I miss you so much, Mom! I thank the Lord for giving us the Best and the Most Wonderful Mom! :) I love you always and forever! :)

 

Perfect Choice

Yesterday after attending the mass at St. Dominic Parish at San Carlos City, Pangasinan,  I walked down the streets and listened to good vibes music (for my happy hormones, hahaha). When suddenly one question popped in to my mind, “Kung hindi ko kaya pinili ang buhay na ‘to, nasaan na kaya ako ngayon?”

A.      Corporate World

Thinking of being in this kind of world, it is challenging! I have to do a daily routine with laptop, paper works and alike. I have to deal with my officemates and bosses. I have to meet certain deadlines, meetings here, meetings there… I have to fix myself everyday and look forward on the things that will happen the following days that might somehow change my routine, and maybe look forward on my pay day. Money that can buy everything I want!!! Exciting, isn’t it? I have more money to save or use to help my family or to start an independent life (a life that every single man/woman has been dreaming of…building the best future!) Why not?

B.     Business Entrepreneurship

If not being a part of a corporate world, I may be an entrepreneur. :) I love recreating and developing new things. My passion for that little creativity (20% of me) can help me build a new business. (That’s why I took up a business course) There was this time when I told my dad that I want to be One of the Business Tycoons in the country. Funny it may seem, but I want to be featured in business & lifestyle magazines with all my accomplishments written. Hahaha! I’ve been inspired by those young entrepreneurs who made it to be known and popular. I want that too!

C.     University

Spending 16 years in school was not that bad. It was actually fun! Having those new knowledge about everything, meeting friends and colleagues and even being involved in different organizations… Ohh school! I want you again. Hahaha. I want to have a master’s degree on business or public administration or urban planning maybe, or why not fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a corporate lawyer? J I love having that “Atty.” before my first name. That’s so cool! And hoping to be a top notcher in my bar exams. Oh dreams! :) I can live a dream of being a professional, a popular one. Who among us don’t want to be that successful?

D.   Public Service

Growing up in a family who dedicate their lives in serving the public, it somehow becomes a desire. Why not continue the legacy? :D It is not the fame that I am after of, but it is really about helping (sounds like a politician, huh?). But sincerely, I want to change the government system (the wrong ones only of course) and to help develop the society. How can these businessmen help the marginalized people and how can the laborers help these investors as well wherein they can have an equal and fair system? How can we help Filipinos be entrepreneurs as well? Hmm. Oh well, I don’t know how I can do that, I don’t have that enough knowledge and skills! :)) Those are just my ideas!

Whew! A lot of things are playing on my mind! But, when I look to where I am now. I am at peace. I am joyful. Those dreams, those fantasies, those desires… I can have it all in the life that I’ve chosen now.

1.       Corporate world is also a mission field. God is my Big Boss! :) I’ve been dealing with people also (a lot of people)! I enjoy hearing their stories and being inspired by them. I love to witness the transformation of people, the reconciliation of relationships and the restoration of hearts and souls. Those become the affirmation of my calling. This is not about me. This is all about Him! This may be a routine or just an ordinary thing to do, but focusing on Him makes it more meaningful and even extraordinary. :) And oops I forgot to tell, I am highly paid, more that what I’ve asked and deserved for. I have a Big Boss, remember? :)

2.       Being an entrepreneur is my work also. Innovating things, being creative (sometimes) help me develop my other side. I may not be featured in any magazine, but one thing I believe, my name is written in heaven.

3.       I want to go back to school, but this work has been a personal school to me. I may not learn by books nor instructors, but I’m learning with all these experiences...nothing compared experiences! Everyday is a learning, not only about the mission work but also about myself. I am being mold and refined more by Him.  I may not have that “M.A.” after my name nor “Atty.” before it, but I am happy with my identity. I am created beautifully by God and I am His princess.

4.       Mission work is a public service --- serving His people. The change, the development, the equality and fairness of everybody, it can all be attained! We are all His workers in His vineyard and we can do it together. I may not believe in my own capacity, but I know God is here with me, He believes in me! And I want to continue His legacy.

Yes, it is true! I have the best job in the world, a complete life-growth package, my perfect choice!

Missionary life is my calling and this is where God wants me to be.

[I owe a lot to Couples for Christ for being a blessing to our family for 23 years and counting. If not because of this community, I may not be falling in love with Him this deeply. To my parents, thank you for offering me to Him. Indeed He is forever faithful! :)) Praise God!]