Words Are Not Enough

The priest asked in his homily this afternoon, "Given the freedom to choose, sinong nanay ang pipiliin ninyo?" "Hindi ba yung pinaka-understanding, pinaka-loving at pinaka-compassionate?", he added. And I strongly agree!

I am a self-proclaimed Daddy's Girl because he spoils me, he supports me all the way and he gives me everything I need (and want)! :) Even my siblings, they will tell that they are Dad's favorites. :) But being away from home, I can't help but think about Mom, How is she kaya? Is she fine? Is she okay? Does she take her maintenance medicines everyday? Who takes good care of her whenever she's not feeling well or who accompanies her whenever Dad is in the office and my sibs are in school?

Whew! Mom, I know you are okay (I hope so), but allow me to write something for you.

When I heard those words from the priest, I told myself that that's exactly like Mom. Yes, she is understanding, she is compassionate and she is so loving. :))

Mommy, thank you for everything! Thank you for waking up every 4:30 in the morning everyday just to prepare us for school. Thank you for patiently waking us up kahit po hindi agad kami gumigising. Thank you for cooking our breakfast and baon for school. Thank you for preparing our school uniforms (from head to toe). Thank you for always assuring us that we will come to school on time. Thank you because whenever we leave something for school, you still patiently bring it. Whenever we need something, you are the first one who get so worried. Thank you for taking care of us, for patiently waking us up so that we can drink our medicines on time. Thank you for always being there in all our school programs, extra curricular activities and even in all our check-ups. Thank you for being our no. 1 tagapagtanggol. Thank you for being over protective for we learn to protect ourselves more. Thank you for loving Dad so much, for supporting him in all his decisions and encouraging him in life. Thank you for being the "clown" of the house, for all your corny jokes and endless stories. Thank you for always telling us if we look good or not. haha! Thank you for always reminding us to pray everyday and to love each other. Thank you for simply being a mother to us. Thank you for your selfless love!

I miss you so much, Mom! I thank the Lord for giving us the Best and the Most Wonderful Mom! :) I love you always and forever! :)

 

Perfect Choice

Yesterday after attending the mass at St. Dominic Parish at San Carlos City, Pangasinan,  I walked down the streets and listened to good vibes music (for my happy hormones, hahaha). When suddenly one question popped in to my mind, “Kung hindi ko kaya pinili ang buhay na ‘to, nasaan na kaya ako ngayon?”

A.      Corporate World

Thinking of being in this kind of world, it is challenging! I have to do a daily routine with laptop, paper works and alike. I have to deal with my officemates and bosses. I have to meet certain deadlines, meetings here, meetings there… I have to fix myself everyday and look forward on the things that will happen the following days that might somehow change my routine, and maybe look forward on my pay day. Money that can buy everything I want!!! Exciting, isn’t it? I have more money to save or use to help my family or to start an independent life (a life that every single man/woman has been dreaming of…building the best future!) Why not?

B.     Business Entrepreneurship

If not being a part of a corporate world, I may be an entrepreneur. :) I love recreating and developing new things. My passion for that little creativity (20% of me) can help me build a new business. (That’s why I took up a business course) There was this time when I told my dad that I want to be One of the Business Tycoons in the country. Funny it may seem, but I want to be featured in business & lifestyle magazines with all my accomplishments written. Hahaha! I’ve been inspired by those young entrepreneurs who made it to be known and popular. I want that too!

C.     University

Spending 16 years in school was not that bad. It was actually fun! Having those new knowledge about everything, meeting friends and colleagues and even being involved in different organizations… Ohh school! I want you again. Hahaha. I want to have a master’s degree on business or public administration or urban planning maybe, or why not fulfill my childhood dream of becoming a corporate lawyer? J I love having that “Atty.” before my first name. That’s so cool! And hoping to be a top notcher in my bar exams. Oh dreams! :) I can live a dream of being a professional, a popular one. Who among us don’t want to be that successful?

D.   Public Service

Growing up in a family who dedicate their lives in serving the public, it somehow becomes a desire. Why not continue the legacy? :D It is not the fame that I am after of, but it is really about helping (sounds like a politician, huh?). But sincerely, I want to change the government system (the wrong ones only of course) and to help develop the society. How can these businessmen help the marginalized people and how can the laborers help these investors as well wherein they can have an equal and fair system? How can we help Filipinos be entrepreneurs as well? Hmm. Oh well, I don’t know how I can do that, I don’t have that enough knowledge and skills! :)) Those are just my ideas!

Whew! A lot of things are playing on my mind! But, when I look to where I am now. I am at peace. I am joyful. Those dreams, those fantasies, those desires… I can have it all in the life that I’ve chosen now.

1.       Corporate world is also a mission field. God is my Big Boss! :) I’ve been dealing with people also (a lot of people)! I enjoy hearing their stories and being inspired by them. I love to witness the transformation of people, the reconciliation of relationships and the restoration of hearts and souls. Those become the affirmation of my calling. This is not about me. This is all about Him! This may be a routine or just an ordinary thing to do, but focusing on Him makes it more meaningful and even extraordinary. :) And oops I forgot to tell, I am highly paid, more that what I’ve asked and deserved for. I have a Big Boss, remember? :)

2.       Being an entrepreneur is my work also. Innovating things, being creative (sometimes) help me develop my other side. I may not be featured in any magazine, but one thing I believe, my name is written in heaven.

3.       I want to go back to school, but this work has been a personal school to me. I may not learn by books nor instructors, but I’m learning with all these experiences...nothing compared experiences! Everyday is a learning, not only about the mission work but also about myself. I am being mold and refined more by Him.  I may not have that “M.A.” after my name nor “Atty.” before it, but I am happy with my identity. I am created beautifully by God and I am His princess.

4.       Mission work is a public service --- serving His people. The change, the development, the equality and fairness of everybody, it can all be attained! We are all His workers in His vineyard and we can do it together. I may not believe in my own capacity, but I know God is here with me, He believes in me! And I want to continue His legacy.

Yes, it is true! I have the best job in the world, a complete life-growth package, my perfect choice!

Missionary life is my calling and this is where God wants me to be.

[I owe a lot to Couples for Christ for being a blessing to our family for 23 years and counting. If not because of this community, I may not be falling in love with Him this deeply. To my parents, thank you for offering me to Him. Indeed He is forever faithful! :)) Praise God!]

My Father's Watch

It has already been 3 months since I first wear my father's watch. I am not fond of wearing one! For me, it is just a plain accessory that I need to wear to add some spice in my outfit (Like okay fine. Sige lang. Kung meron, okay. Kung wala, okay lang din. Not that important!). But one day, my mom showed me this watch. "Hindi 'to ginagamit ng daddy mo. Isuot mo!", she said. At first I was hesitant to accept and wear it, but my dad added, "Sige, isuot mo na. Okay lang ba sa'yo? Sa'yo na yan! Bigay ko sa'yo." (Eh syempre, binigay na and I know that it is very important to my dad, so I got it!)

Until this day, I am wearing it and really loving it. :)

This watch reminds me of one of the values Daddy has taught me --- VALUE TIME!

I remember how he always gives our family a quality time despite of his busy schedules. He has his work with the poor, church commitments, public service and more, but he never fails to value our family time. Maybe that's one of the reasons on why I used to have my attachment issues with my family, because being with them is always a moment filled with peace, love and joy. :)

When the clock strikes at 7 in the morning, I'll surely hear, "Good morning! Oh gising na! Tanghali na! Remember, Daig ng taong maagap ang taong masipag!" I will never forget these words! It reminds me every morning to wake up and start the day early. :) That's why I become a morning person! I make it appoint that I don't miss something important and do all my works ahead of time or even on time (Whew! I can do it! Hahaha!). Thanks for this inspiration! :)

"Fulfill God's desires first before before fulfilling your personal desires."  Everytime I'll remember this line, my tears will just fall down in my eyes. These are exactly the words that dad uttered when I talked to him about my discernment about fulfilling mission work as a full-time pastoral worker. He believes that this is the perfect time for me to answer God's call, and I shouldn't make Him wait for my "yes". Now, I have the best job in the world! :) It is Dad who really believes in me and knows where I can be at peace! (Of course, si Mommy din!!! Hahaha.)

Time is meant to be valued. It is meant to be cherished. It is so true that "time is gold". I cannot bring back the past. So I live my  present, and simply be at my best.  I learn to enjoy life and share my love with my time. 

Love Note to Dad: Thank you for your watch. :) It is already 17 days away from our family, and this watch has been my companion everyday. Know that the every value that you have taught me will always be in my heart. This has become one of my everyday fuels to go on and be strong. :) You are my inspiration! I love you so much, Dad! I miss you.

  

 

His Mercy Saves

        One day, a priest visited a prison in one province and he had a chance to encounter a prisoner.

Mang Lino: Father, marami na po akong pinatay. Nasa 40 na po. Mga 10 na ding pulitiko at mga 30 na ding ordinaryong tao. Matagal na po ako dito sa loob at kahit po dito ay may mga nag-uutos pa din sa aking pumatay.  Pinagsisisihan ko na po ang mga ginawa kong kasalan. Minsan nga po naiisip ko: Kamusta na kaya ang mga nabyuda ng mga pinatay ko? Kamusta na kaya ang mga naulila nilang mga anak? Mapapatawad pa kaya nila ako? Mapapatawad pa kaya ako ng Panginoon? Alam ko naman pong inilipat na ako sa Muntinlupa ay ipapapatay din ako doon. 

                God is compassionate in forgiving sins. He is merciful. In fact He is just waiting for us to come back to His loving arms. All He wants is for us to turn away from our sins, repent and acknowledge the love and mercy that He has offered us.

  I believe that God has given us different opportunities to change, but what is inspiring in Mang Lino is that when he has given that opportunity, he recognized it and even accepted it.

Day 11: Still in Awe (A Journey to Remember)

During one of my prayer times, the Lord spoke to me, "Wait for me, My child. I have prepared the best plans for you. Trust Me and keep your faith in Me. My promise is true." Sometimes obedience and waiting may not be that easy, but when you fully put your trust in Him, everything seems to be in a different way. I've waited for months, weeks and days, and finally, God has revealed to me what His promise is. "The time has come, the wait is over, this is My promise, the promise is NOW."

As I say goodbye to Batangas, I say hello to Pangasinan (a province of NOrth-Western Luzon)! I may not be prepared like any one else, but I believe He is with me. He doesn't look what is present in me, but instead He does see the future that awaits for me.

CHANGE! (Wow! Big word!) God never fails to change me even from the smallest thing that I encounter here. My heart has been purified more and I believe that I am in the right place where He really wants me to be.

Time flies so fast that I didn't even notice that I am already in my 11th day here in Pangasinan, my new mission area. :) And... I'm still in awe! 11 days of God's amazing grace and faithfulness! :) I am truly happy that even my heart cannot comprehend everything. :))

 I believe that my "YES" has brought me to this place. And this joy that I am feeling, it is genuine. :") 

 For I am loved because HE IS LOVE.

Worth a Try

So here it goes...

My passion is to write random things. I love to listen to other people's stories and read inspirational books, then write my every thought that comes in mind. :) It became a daily routine. One day I had a thought of exploring things that I've never done nor tried before.

I think this is somehow the time for me to create a blog, share my thoughts and allow people to have a glimpse of my life. I believe this will be worth a try. :)